Telling...or asking....

I had a good visit with one of our PD's today.  Part of our conversation was about growing the people we work with to be the best they can be.  We wondered about the most effective ways to engage and direct them in the things we do together. 

That lead us to this.

How do we feel when we are told to do something?   In many cases we feel like saying "I'm not gonna' do it".  We rationalize, we debate, we deflect, and the conversation becomes about winning and losing.  My way or your way.  "I TOLD YOU TO DO IT"!!

Now how do we feel about the same thing when we are asked to do it?  I'm not talking about the condescending contrived, calculated ask.  Sincerity is important.  "I really need your help with this, you'll be perfect for the job".  Almost all of us would say...."OK, I'm in".

The choice to ask or tell, will sometimes, make all the difference in the world.

When it's hard to talk...

From time to time, every supervisor is put into a position where they need to have a difficult conversation with an employee, and the reverse is true as well. Employees find themselves in situations where a less than comfortable conversation has to happen with the boss.

It's often at this point where emotions and nerves start to get in the way.  We play the conversations out in our minds before they happen and we see the worst case scenarios.  We envision the other person getting furious, we see ourselves losing our cool, and the whole situation will go from uncomfortable to disasterous.

Perhaps that happens because we are focusing on the emotions more than the issues.  How different would the conversation be if it centered on the things we are trying to accomplish together rather than how we feel.  A few scattered thoughts...

• It takes maturity and effort to focus on issues rather than feelings.  So don't expect it to be easy. 
• Remember that the conversation is not about winning and losing.  It's not a debate.  It's about doing the right thing.
• There is often more than one right answer in every situation. Just because the answer isn't yours, doesn't mean it's wrong. 
• You can only control your own emotions and behaviour.  You can't do that for the others involved. Don't even try.  
• Keep the conversation on one topic. Don't bring a bunch of other issues and baggage into it. That's not fair.   One thing at a time. 

For some the inability to follow leadership is the biggest single struggle of their career.  For others, the failure to effectively lead is the limiting issue.   And one side seems to always blame the other.  At the end of the day, if we focus on our goals and targets, rather than who wins or loses we'll be moving forward.  

That's what's most important. 

Vive la Difference

I've spent some time recently thinking about the many different types of people we work with every day. Some are self conscious and shy, while others are confident and boisterous. Some are very mainstream, and others march to the beat of their own drum. Some have lots of experience and talent, and others are just starting out.

To quote Dr. Seuss, “Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish”, we have them all, and they all deserve respect. I'm not sure they always get it.

Some are laughed at behind their backs or chewed up in a rumor mill fueled more by opinion than fact. Some are mocked because their talent hasn't fully blossomed yet. Some are left out because they are different.

In many places today is “Anti-Bullying Day” at the local schools. The kids are dressed in pink and taking a stand. The lessons of respect and tolerance are being taught.

As leaders, we need to emulate that same attitude. The kids have it right, and as another great writer once said, “And a little child shall lead them”.

Playin' in the Band

In our little corner of the world this is the week of the annual Moose Jaw Band and Choral Festival.  Here is this mornings performance of the Grade 6 band from Sunningdale doing "Ode to Joy".  Ludwig never sounded so good!!

Jake is on bass drum.  I asked him if Joy was a nice girl and if she really deserved her own "ode".  He turned and walked away, shaking his head.

It's Friday!!

Paul Harvey used to utter these marvelous words at the dawn of each weekend.  They brought hope, happiness, and the promise of boundless fun.  As we roll into another weekend, a few more thoughts on what "It's Friday" means.....

• Weekends are like rainbows.  They look great from a distance but disappear when you get close to them.
• Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
• Middle age is when you sit home on a Friday night, and when the phone rings, you hope it's not for you.
• Give a man a fish and he has food for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he can be busy and entire weekend.

It's Friday!!

Required Viewing

For folks in the media, there are only a handful of movies that would be considered "gotta' see".  In no particular order, here is my list.

#5. "Talk To Me". Don Cheadle as Washington DC DJ Petey Greene.  An ex-con who cons his way into radio and becomes a star. True story too.

#4. "Private Parts". The career of Howard Stern on film, starring Howard.  Surprisingly good.

#3. "Pirate Radio". The story of those jolly buggers who made radio on ships offshore England in the 60's. The way the pushed the buttons of the BBC and government are legendary. Starring the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.

#2. "Good Morning Vietnam". Pretty hard not to have this Robin Williams Classic on the list.  Some really funny dialogue and a great performance by Forest Whitaker.

#1. "Almost Famous".  A Golden Globe winner and a very fun look at music and culture in the 70's.  Funny, sad, inspiring.....and a great soundtrack.

And one bonus movie. The film "FM" starring Michael Brandon.  Not a 5 star offering, but all about radio and with another bunch of great tunes from Steely Dan, Linda Ronstadt, Jimmy Buffett and a host of others.

Leaders

I've long been a fan of leadership.  I've read about it, thought about it, talked about it, and written about it.  Yet there are still many times I find it hard to define what it is about people that makes them the sort of folks you want to get behind.  The kind of people you want to follow.

This little chunk of brilliance making the rounds on Facebook this week reminded me not to over think it.